PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY"...
(Wilhelmina) CONNOR RAN OFF WITH ALL THE MONEY. (Claire) AS OF NOON TODAY,
ALL OF THE MEADE ACCOUNTS HAVE BEEN TOTALLY CLEARED OUT. WE CLEAN UP OUR OWN MESS.
I'M GONNA START LIQUIDATING MY PERSONAL ASSETS--
EVERYTHING I'VE GOT. I'LL CONTRIBUTE AS MUCH AS I CAN.
WHICH FABULOUS FASHION WORLD EDITOR
HAS BEGUN TO SELL OFF HER CLOTHES WILLY-NILLY?
(snorts and laughs)
(Wilhelmina) I HAVE A SON NOW, AND IT'S HIS COMPANY, TOO.
(Christina) I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL, THOUGH, SOMETIMES--
REMIND MYSELF THAT I AM NOT HIS MOTHER. A BUS, REALLY, DANIEL? THIS IS THE LOWEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.
FOR GOD SAKE, HOLD ONTO THE POLE! NO WAY. I DON'T KNOW WHO TOUCHED THAT THING.
MY FAMILY IS, SORT OF, REALLY WEALTHY.
(Betty) I JUST FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT YOU.
(Matt) WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW--
I'M KINDA REALLY INTO YOU.
(Fatboy Slim's "Build It Up-- Tear It Down" playing)
♪ BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE ♪
♪ BOUNCE, BOUNCE, B-BOUNCE ♪
♪ BUILD IT UP ♪
♪ TEAR IT DOWN ♪
♪ BUILD IT UP ♪
♪ TEAR IT DOWN ♪
♪ BOUNCE, BOUNCE ♪
♪ BOUNCE, BOUNCE, B-BOUNCE ♪
FOR THE RECORD,
I'VE DECIDED THE LIMO TREATMENT DOESN'T SUCK.
NOTED. ALSO FOR THE RECORD,
I'M NOT REALLY A LIMO KIND OF GUY.
I JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE FUN, SINCE IT'S, YOU KNOW, TUESDAY.
TUESDAY--NOW OFFICIALLY KNOWN AS "LIMO DAY." (laughs)
SERIOUSLY, MATT, STOP PAMPERING ME.
IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY. DAMN. THERE GOES HOT AIR BALLOON WEDNESDAY.
(gasps) SOUNDS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
SERIOUSLY, I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
I KNOW, I BELIEVE YOU, BUT IT JUST--
IT ALL FEELS LIKE A LITTLE MUCH, YOU KNOW,
WITH THE CUTBACKS AT WORK AND-- I KNOW, I KNOW.
BUT FOR YOU, HOT AIR BALLOON WEDNESDAY,
SUBMARINE THURSDAY...
AS LONG AS IT MAKES YOU HAPPY,
JUST NAME IT. ANYTHING. WELL, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN MAKE ME ANY MORE HAPPY,
BUT I'M GONNA GO OUT ON A LIMB AND SAY THAT THINGS AT WORK
ARE GONNA GET BETTER. REALLY?
YEAH. IT'S SORT OF MY GRAND UNIFIED THEORY OF HAPPINESS.
WITH US SO GOOD, HOW COULD WORK BE BAD?
(elevator bell dings)
OH! COMING THROUGH.
EXCUSE ME. SORRY. JUST TRYING TO GET OUT.
(man) HEY, WATCH IT!
(man) EXCUSE-- (man) SORRY.
WHAT IS GOING ON? HEY! THAT'S MINE.
(telephones ringing)
(Amanda) "MODE" MAGAZINE, PLEASE HOLD.
"MODE" MAGAZINE, HOLD. (headset beeps)
NO, HE'S NOT AVAILABLE. PLEASE HOLD. AMANDA.
HEY, YOU CANNOT JUST TAKE THAT! THAT IS "MODE" PROPERTY.
BREATHE, MANDY. BREATHE.
(inhales deeply) GUYS, WHAT IS GOING ON?
WE'RE BEING LOOTED.
I FEEL SO VIOLATED, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR? THE SEX ISSUE WAS A LIMP NOODLE,
AND NOW THEY'VE CUT THE BUDGET TO THE BONE.
OH, GOD. THIS IS SO DEPRESSING.
I JUST USED THE WORD "NOODLE" AND "BONE," AND I GOT NOTHING.
APPARENTLY, EVERYTHING LEASED OR CONSIDERED NONESSENTIAL
HAS TO GO. I'M LOOKING FOR... BETTY SUAREZ?
DO YOU NEED ANY HELP LOADING HER ONTO THE TRUCK?
YOU NEED MY I.D. FOR A DELIVERY?
IT'S PROTOCOL.
SIGN HERE.
(sighs)
(touchpad beeps)
AND HERE. IS THIS ALL REALLY NECESSARY?
(beeping) INITIAL HERE. AND I NEED YOUR THUMBPRINT.
MY THUMBPRINT?
(electronic female voice) IDENTITY CONFIRMED. WHOA.
THE CALVIN HARTLEY CHARITABLE FOUNDATION REQUIRES
POSITIVE IDENTIFICATION OF ALL RECIPIENTS.
THE HARTLEY CHARITABLE FOUNDATION?
DID HE SAY, "THE HARTLEY CHARITABLE FOUNDATION"?
DANIEL, WHAT'S GOING ON?
THEY'RE REPOSSESSING EVERYTHING.
BETTY, SHH. PLEASE.
WITH EVERYTHING FALLING APART AROUND HERE,
JUST LET ME HAVE THIS MOMENT.
(exhales deeply)
EVERY YEAR, CAL HARTLEY HOSTS A CHARITY EASTER EGG HUNT
AT THE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY.
WAIT. CAL HARTLEY?
OH, IT'S INCREDIBLY EXCLUSIVE.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SCORE AN INVITE FOR YEARS.
UM, DANIEL, I THINK MAYBE THIS MIGHT BE...
(musical chimes playing) "THE CALVIN HARTLEY CHARITABLE FOUNDATION
"IS PLEASED TO INVITE...
BETTY SUAREZ"?
CAL HARTLEY IS MATT'S FATHER.
OF COURSE. MATT... HARTLEY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I NEVER PUT THAT TOGETHER.
SO THINGS ARE GOING REALLY GREAT WITH YOU AND MATT, I GUESS.
YEAH.
SEEING AS... YOU GOT THE BIG EGG-VITE.
HERE YOU ARE.
SORRY, DANIEL. I HAD NO IDEA.
NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE. I'M SURE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FUN
MINGLING WITH THE BILLIONAIRES AND THE PRINCESSES... (cell phone ringing)
AND THE POPES AND THE... OH, SORRY, DANIEL, ONE SECOND.
(rings and beeps) HELLO.
AUNT BETTY, DON'T EVER BREAK UP WITH MATT! WHY DO YOU NEED MY FINGERPRINT?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? We just got an invitation to the Hartley Easter egg hunt.
Do you know how exclusive this is?
(Ignacio) I'm a U.S. citizen... I HAVE AN IDEA.
I HAVE RIGHTS, YOU KNOW! GRANDPA, GIVE HIM THE THUMBPRINT.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA MESS THIS UP FOR ME.
GO. Look, Justin,
I DON'T REALLY HAVE TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW,
BUT I'LL CALL YOU BACK, OKAY? BYE.
EVERYTHING OKAY?
YEAH, HE WAS JUST REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT GOING TO THE HARTLEY THING.
YOUR FAMILY GOT AN EGG-VITATION?
(musical chimes play)
(whispers indistinctly)
(camera shutter clicking)
THAT IS BEAUTIFUL, WILLIE. YOU ARE ONE MAGNIFICENT MAMA.
OH, THANK YOU, MILES. MM-HMM.
CAN WE TAKE A BREAK, PLEASE?
CHRISTINA.
COME GET HIM.
OH... COME ON, LITTLE MAN.
(groans) MY BACK IS KILLING ME.
OH, YOU POOR THING.
YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING HIM FOR, WHAT, A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES.
TRY DOING IT FOR NINE MONTHS.
MM. YES, YES, YES, YOU'RE A SAINT.
AND HIS DIAPER'S FULL AS WELL.
MILES, DARLING, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR CAPTURING THESE PRECIOUS MOMENTS.
OH, IT'S MY PLEASURE, WILHELMINA.
UH, THAT WOMAN?
OH, SHE'S MY SURROGATE. SHE'S HELPED ME OUT
UNTIL I FIND A MORE SUITABLE NANNY ARRANGEMENT.
WAS SHE YOUR EGG DONOR, AS WELL? WHAT? NO.
WHY WOULD YOU SUGGEST SUCH A THING?
WELL, THE BABY DOESN'T EXACTLY LOOK LIKE YOU.
WELL, MILES, HIS FATHER IS WHITE.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? I MEAN, HE'LL BROWN UP EVENTUALLY.
NO, IT'S NOT JUST THAT, WILHELMINA.
MY BUSINESS IS SEEING, ESPECIALLY FACES.
AND YOUR CHILD REALLY LOOKS LIKE THAT WOMAN.
WELL, THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS.
(Christina gasps)
(whispers) THERE. YES. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, NOT TO WORRY.
I CAN WORK WONDERS WITH PHOTOSHOP.
I'LL GIVE HIM THE SLATER CHIN.
MM.
(man) FROM THE SUMMIT OF MOUNT EVEREST
TO THE HEIGHTS OF EARTH'S ORBIT,
WHETHER HE'S BROKERING PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST,
INVENTING A NEW ARTIFICIAL HIP
OR WINNING HIS THIRD INDIANAPOLIS 500,
CAL HARTLEY PERSONIFIES THE PINNACLE
OF HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT.
BILLIONAIRE, PHILANTHROPIST, INNOVATOR--
THERE IS NO PART OF YOUR LIFE
THAT CAL HARTLEY HASN'T TOUCHED
AND PROBABLY MADE BETTER.
WOW. YEP, THAT'S DAD.
PLEASE ADOPT ME. FORGET IT.
UNLESS YOU TAKE ME, TOO.
MATT, WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOU INVITING US
TO YOUR FATHER'S FUND-RAISER, BUT I JUST...
FEEL WE WOULDN'T FIT IN. (Justin) DON'T EVEN GO THERE, GRANDPA.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.
YEAH, AND I HEAR THAT THEY HAVE A REAL FAH-BURGE EGG
HIDDEN IN WITH THE EASTER EGGS. I'M SO FINDING IT.
"FABERGé."
OH. (laughs)
NO, SWEETIE, WHEN THERE'S AN "E" AT THE END, IT'S SILENT.
MATT, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS?
I MEAN, I DIDN'T EXACTLY START OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT
WITH YOUR MOM,
AND I WAS HOPING FOR LESS PRESSURE WITH YOUR DAD.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE COULD HAVE HIM OVER FOR DINNER.
PAPI COULD COOK... MM, I WOULD LOVE THAT.
AND WE'LL JUST TALK ABOUT MOUNTAIN CLIMBING.
WELL, YOU KNOW, MEETING MY FATHER IS A REALLY BIG DEAL.
I MEAN, THIS GUY TURNS DOWN INVITATIONS TO THE WHITE HOUSE. MATT, YOU'RE NOT HELPING.
(chuckles) LOOK, LOOK, THE POINT IS,
FOUR FORMER PRESIDENTS WANNA MEET THAT GUY.
BUT TO ME, THAT GUY IS DAD.
BETTY, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY DAD.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE IN.
(laughs) YAY. (Justin) YAY!
WHAT?!
I FIGURED, THE BEST WAY TO MAKE
A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION ON MR. HARTLEY
WAS TO LEARN AS MUCH ABOUT HIM AS I CAN.
DID YOU KNOW HE WENT INTO OUTER SPACE? OH, I WISH I WAS THAT RICH.
I'D LIKE TO GO INTO OUTER SPACE.
WOW, THERE ARE, LIKE, A MILLION INTERVIEWS WITH HIM.
HERE'S ONE IN THE "DUBAYY FINANCIAL TIMES."
"HARTLEY MADE HIS REPUTATION RIDING TO THE RESCUE
OF STRUGGLING COMPANIES." I'D LIKE TO RESCUE STRUGGLING COMPANIES.
DANIEL, WE ARE A STRUGGLING COMPANY.
LISTEN--"AMONG THE ASSETS HARTLEY CONSIDERS UNDERVALUED
"AND RIPE FOR REINVESTMENT
"ARE MEDIA COMPANIES,
INCLUDING NEWSPAPER AND MAGAZINE PUBLISHING."
HE SAID THAT?
YEAH.
DANIEL, WHAT IF WE GOT HARTLEY TO INVEST IN MEADE?
I MEAN, HE--HE COULD BE OUR WHITE KNIGHT. HE COULD SAVE THE COMPANY.
NO, BUT HARTLEY IS NOTORIOUSLY HARD TO GET TO.
DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN SET IT UP?
ARE YOU KIDDING? MATT WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY
TO SET UP A MEETING WITH YOU AND HIS FATHER.
BETTY, IF YOU CAN PULL THIS OFF-- I CAN DO IT!
I CAN'T DO IT. IT'S JUST A MEETING.
NO, I CAN'T. DANIEL ONLY WANTS A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOUR DAD.
LOOK, EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK TO MY FATHER.
INVITATIONS TO THE WHITE HOUSE, REMEMBER?
EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD ALWAYS WANTS SOMETHING FROM HIM.
NO, BUT, MATT, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR HIM. YEAH, AND IT'S ALWAYS AN OPPORTUNITY.
BETTY, LOOK, YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.
IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. BUT, MATT--
NO. I'M SORRY. THE ANSWER IS NO.
(opens car door)
♪♪♪
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. DANIEL REALLY NEEDS MY HELP,
BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING TO UPSET MATT.
(groans) POOR MATT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH PRESSURE IS ON THESE RICH PEOPLE.
IT'S INCREDIBLE. AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT RICH PEOPLE?
EXCUSE ME. I'VE BEEN WATCHING "DYNASTY" ON THE SOAP CHANNEL.
(Justin) THEY'RE NOT LIKE US. LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT "DYNASTY,"
BUT IF THE CHOICE IS BETWEEN DISAPPOINTING YOUR BOSS
OR KEEPING YOUR RICH BOYFRIEND HAPPY, SHOW ME THE MONEY.
OH, YEAH, IT'S LIKE WHEN BLAKE HAS TO CHOOSE
BETWEEN HIS WIFE KRYSTLE AND HER LOOK-ALIKE RITA,
ALSO PLAYED BY LINDA EVANS IN A RED WIG.
CATCH UP, PEOPLE.
(Ignacio) YOU KNOW, MIJA,
YOU TRIED TO HELP OUT, AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
DANIEL WILL UNDERSTAND.
JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT, PAPI.
I SHOULD JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
(Wilhelmina) AWW. (Marc) OHH.
LOOK AT LITTLE WILLIAM HERE.
THIS SHOT REALLY BRINGS OUT THAT SLATER CHIN. OH, HONESTLY, WILLIE,
YOU HAVEN'T HAD A SLATER CHIN SINCE 1981.
WELL, LOOK AT THESE CHEEKBONES. SEE?
HMM...
WELL, AS MUCH AS I LIVE TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR,
I DON'T THINK BABIES HAVE CHEEKBONES.
WELL, THEN HE MUST TAKE AFTER BRADFORD, I SUPPOSE.
ACTUALLY, EXCEPT FOR THE FISH BELLY COMPLEXION,
I DON'T SEE BRADFORD IN THERE, EITHER.
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, WILLIE?
OH, NOTHING, I GUESS. IT'S JUST...
WELL, MILES SAYS THE BABY LOOKS A LOT LIKE CHRISTINA.
OH, MY GOD, HE DOES.
UH, I MEAN, DOES HE? REALLY?
I DON'T SEE IT. MARC, THIS IS MY BABY.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT OVERRATED LENS JOCKEY
MILES FOSTER SAYS, I KNOW MY OWN CHILD.
OF COURSE YOU DO. WHY ARE WE EVEN DISCUSSING THIS?
WE WERE BOTH THERE WHEN THEY DID THE PROCEDURE.
IT WAS YOUR EGG MIXED WITH BRADFORD'S...
SWIM TEAM.
THE BABY CAN'T BE CHRISTINA'S. IT'S MEDICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
ACTUALLY, IT IS MEDICALLY POSSIBLE.
(scoffs) YOU'RE JOKING. IF THE SURROGATE HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE
BEFORE THE IMPLANTATION,
IT'S POSSIBLE SHE WAS ALREADY PREGNANT.
IN THAT CASE, YOUR EGG WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN,
AND THE BABY WOULD BE HER BIOLOGICAL CHILD.
WELL, THAT'S ALL VERY EDUCATIONAL.
(inhales sharply) THANK YOU FOR COMING DOWN, DOCTOR.
THAT'S IT?
YES.
BECAUSE YOU--YOU SAID IT WAS URGENT.
I RUSHED OUT OF SURGERY TO GET--
THANK YOU.
(door closes)
(sighs) MARC...
DEAR GOD.
WILLIAM MIGHT NOT BE MINE. I'M SO SORRY.
WELL, IT'S-- IT'S UNACCEPTABLE.
WITHOUT LITTLE WILLIAM'S SHARE OF THE COMPANY,
I GO BACK TO BEING A PAID EMPLOYEE
WITH DANIEL'S GIRLISH FINGERS AT MY THROAT.
I NEED YOU TO FIND OUT IF CHRISTINA HAD SEX
RIGHT BEFORE THE PROCEDURE.
AND DO IT DISCREETLY.
(door opens)
(door closes)
DANIEL, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, TOO.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, THANK YOU. EVERYONE.
GOOD WORK. I THINK IT'S TIME TO GO HOME AND GET SOME REST.
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT?
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? WELL, I KNOW YOU WERE BUSY WITH MATT.
WE DECIDED TO GO ALL IN ON YOUR HARTLEY IDEA. ALL IN?
YEP. I CALLED IN MARKETING, AD SALES, THE ART DEPARTMENT,
AND WE PUT TOGETHER SUCH A KICK-ASS PROPOSAL
FOR MY MEETING WITH HARTLEY. UM, DANIEL, BEFORE YOU START KICKING ASS, I--
JUST WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT WE CAME UP WITH.
WE ARE GONNA BLOW HIM AWAY.
(man) FOR OVER A HUNDRED YEARS,
MEADE PUBLICATIONS HAS HELPED TO EDUCATE, INFORM
AND ENTERTAIN GENERATIONS OF AMERICANS.
NOW LEADING THIS BOLD CHARGE INTO THE NEXT MILLENNIUM
IS A TRUE VISIONARY, BUSINESSMAN, HUMANITARIAN,
AND WORLD-CLASS ATHLETE--
DANIEL MEADE.
(dramatic music plays)
ATHLETE? YEAH, I WAS ON THE CREW TEAM--J.V.
BESIDES, IF HARTLEY'S GONNA PUT MONEY INTO MEADE THE COMPANY,
HE'S GOTTA HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MEADE THE MAN. (types on keyboard)
DID YOU NOTICE I GOT THAT GUY WHO DID THE VOICE FOR HARTLEY'S
TO DO MINE? DANIEL, I--
I MEAN, IT'S STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS.
WE'RE GONNA PHOTOSHOP THE MARGARITA OUT OF MY HAND,
MAYBE PUT IN, LIKE, AN ORPHANED BABY...
BETTY, I GOTTA TELL YOU, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS
I FEEL LIKE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
HE'S GONNA LOVE IT.
(chuckles) YOU'RE GONNA KNOCK HIS SOCKS OFF IN THAT MEETING.
YOU DIDN'T REALLY SAY, "KNOCK HIS SOCKS OFF," DID YOU?
IT JUST CAME OUT.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO? DANIEL THINKS THAT THIS MEETING
WITH HARTLEY COULD HELP SAVE THE COMPANY.
AND I HAVE TO TELL HIM IT'S NOT EVEN GONNA HAPPEN. WELL, THE MAN IS A "TRUE VISIONARY,"
SO HE MAY ALREADY KNOW.
OH... THERE HE IS. THERE'S THE LITTLE PRODUCT
OF AN UNHOLY DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.
YES, YOU ARE!
YOU'RE SO GOOD WITH HIM. WHO KNEW? I THOUGHT MY ONLY MATERNAL INSTINCT
WAS NURSING A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY.
STUART'S COMING BY IN A LITTLE WHILE,
AND WE'RE GONNA GO FOR A WALK IN THE PARK. YES.
OH, HOW IS STUART? BETTER, ACTUALLY.
AT FIRST WE THOUGHT THE TREATMENT WASN'T WORKING,
BUT I DON'T KNOW, IT SEEMS TO BE IMPROVING.
(giggles) YOU SHOULD SEE HIM WITH THIS LITTLE ANKLE BITER,
ALL COOING AND MAKING FACES. (William coos)
SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT DANIEL? I DON'T KNOW, BUT I JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE
THAT HE AND MATT DO NOT SEE EACH OTHER
UNTIL I FIGURE IT OUT. (cell phone rings)
OH. (beep)
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL. HELLO?
(Matt) Hey, it's me.
HI, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU.
Okay, we're still talking. That's good.
I just want to say, I'm sorry I lost it
about, you know, Daniel wanting to meet my dad,
and I was hoping I could take you out to lunch.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET?
ACTUALLY, I'M HEADING TOWARDS YOUR DESK RIGHT NOW. WHAT?
Don't go to my desk! I'm not at my desk!
UH...
UH, LET'S... PLAY A GAME.
UM, YOU TRY TO FIND ME.
OOH... SORT OF LIKE A SEXY SCAVENGER HUNT?
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
OKAY... (singsong voice) HERE I COME.
(indistinct conversations)
Where are you?
HEY, I HAVE A LUNCH UPTOWN.
I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.
GOOD. HAVE A-A GOOD LUNCH.
THANKS.
WARMER...
warmer...
FOUND YOU!
DON'T MAKE ME TASER YOU.
(gasps) UH, COLD!
Ice cold! Freezing! Freezing!
UH...
OH!
HEY, I FORGOT MY BRIEFCASE ON YOUR DESK. OH, NO!
GO BACK TO THE ELEVATOR. I'LL GO GET IT. OKAY.
YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
♪♪♪
(bionic sound effect plays)
♪♪♪
(elevator bell dings)
HAVE A GOOD LUNCH.
THANKS.
(Matt) FOUND YOU.
YAY! YOU FOUND ME. YES!
YOU WIN. (elevator bell dings)
BETTY, I TOTALLY FORGOT-- HEY, MATT!
HEY, DANIEL. UM, WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GET GOING.
(Matt) OKAY. I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH
FOR SETTING UP THIS MEETING WITH YOUR FATHER. DANIEL!
(Matt) EXCUSE ME? I REALLY THINK IT'LL BE
AN INCREDIBLE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY FOR HIM. I DIDN'T SET ANY MEETING.
WHAT? I TOLD BETTY I COULDN'T DO IT.
BETTY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
YEAH, BETTY, WHAT IS GOING ON?
WELL, WHY'D YOU TELL HIM I'D SET UP A MEETING WITH DAD?
WELL, I-I DIDN'T EXACTLY. YES... YOU DID.
LOOK, I CAN EXPLAIN THIS,
JUST NOT WITH BOTH OF YOU RIGHT HERE.
DANIEL, WILL YOU GO WAIT FOR ME IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM? I HAVE A LUNCH--
PLEASE.
(sighs)
I WAS GONNA TELL HIM THIS MORNING...
BUT WHEN I CAME IN,
HE'D BEEN UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON A PROPOSAL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK HIS HEART.
LOOK, BUT HE WAS GONNA FIND OUT EVENTUALLY.
YES, BUT I WAS HOPING THAT I COULD TALK TO YOU AGAIN.
REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID THAT I COULD ASK YOU FOR ANYTHING?
SUBMARINE THURSDAYS? OKAY, BETTY. BETTY, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
IT'S JUST A BUSINESS MEETING
BETWEEN THE HEAD OF MEADE PUBLICATIONS
AND A POTENTIAL INVESTOR.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US. BUT IT DOES.
BETTY, BEING CAL HARTLEY'S SON--
IT'S LIKE I'M TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
RIGHT? THERE'S--THERE'S A GUY WHOSE FATHER IS WORTH MORE
THAN MOST OPEC COUNTRIES, AND THEN I'M THE GUY
WHO WRITES ABOUT SPORTS AND FORGETS HIS WALLET
AND GETS A LUMP IN HIS THROAT
EVERY TIME HIS GIRLFRIEND SMILES AT HIM.
BETTY, THERE'S MY DAD AND BUSINESS AND MONEY,
AND THEN THERE'S ME-- MY LIFE.
YOU'RE PART OF MY LIFE, AREN'T YOU?
YES, OF COURSE.
DANIEL.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME HE SAID NO?
BECAUSE YOU WERE SO EXCITED.
I DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU. SO YOU LET ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT?
I THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE HIS MIND. AND?
SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, DANIEL. (sighs)
I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO THE COMPANY,
BUT MATT IS MY BOYFRIEND. (sighs)
AND IF THIS IS WHAT HE WANTS, THEN...
I HAVE TO RESPECT THAT.
I UNDERSTAND.
YOU DO?
I IMAGINE MATT'S GOTTA HAVE HIS REASONS.
FAMILY CAN BE...
COMPLICATED.
I OUGHTA KNOW.
IT'S OKAY, BETTY.
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WELL, I ADMIT THINGS DON'T LOOK VERY GOOD,
BUT, UM, WE'RE NOT READY TO TURN THE LIGHTS OUT JUST YET.
WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
THERE ARE ALWAYS OTHER OPTIONS.
THERE ARE NO OTHER OPTIONS. WELL, I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT.
FACE THE FACTS, DANIEL.
WE BARELY COBBLED TOGETHER THE CASH
TO PUT THE LAST ISSUE ON THE NEWSSTANDS.
THE GOVERNMENT'S NOT GONNA HELP US,
AND THE BANKS WON'T TOUCH US. WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT--
WE AGREED WE WERE NOT THERE YET. WELL, WE'RE THERE NOW.
THE COMPANY HAS SURVIVED FOR OVER A HUNDRED YEARS.
PEOPLE WERE READING "MODE" DURING THE PAST TWO WORLD WARS.
THEY WERE BURNING IT FOR WARMTH DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION.
I MEAN, I WILL BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA EXPLAIN TO MY SON--
YOUR HALF-BROTHER--THAT WE STOOD BY AND LET IT DIE.
I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT THAT, EITHER, BUT WHAT DO WE--
WE HAVE POURED EVERY PENNY INTO KEEPING THIS MAGAZINE AFLOAT.
MONEY OF OUR OWN.
IF WE LET IT GO UNDER, WE HAVE NOTHING.
(sighs)
IT'S TIME TO MAKE SOME TOUGH CHOICES.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
(sighs)
HEY! OH!
I'VE BEEN THINKING, WE DON'T REALLY TALK VERY MUCH.
THAT'S BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH.
AND IT TEARS ME UP INSIDE.
WE'VE BEEN SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER
BECAUSE OF THE BABY, WE SHOULD BE PALS. I'M GOOD, ACTUALLY.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S A FUN THING FOR US GIRLS TO DO--A SEX QUIZ!
I AM IN!
MY SEX I.Q. IS CRAZY HIGH.
I'M LIKE THE EINSTEIN OF SEX.
UM... OKAY.
"WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON TO HAVE SEX?"
FALL! NO, SPRING!
WINTER! NO, SUMMER!
OH, THIS IS GONNA BE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
I HEARD "SUMMER." GOOD ANSWER.
LIKE... JUNE? DON'T YOU LOVE HAVING SEX IN JUNE?
JUNE 14th AT 3:02 P.M.,
I WAS IN THE LADIES' ROOM AT THE U.N.
JáNOS--HE'S THE DELEGATE FROM HUNGARY--
AND HE WAS.
I HAVE A PORNOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
OKAY. BACK TO CHRISTINA.
SIZZLING SUMMER SEXCAPADES--GO!
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN MY SEX LIFE?
WHAT? IT'S JUST A QUIZ.
I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT IT, AND THEN I REALIZED... JUNE!
THAT WAS WHEN I HAD WILHELMINA'S EGG IMPLANTED.
AND THE ONLY REASON THAT HE WOULD WANT TO KNOW
IF I'D HAD SEX-- HE'S A PERVERT?
NO, LISTEN.
DO YOU REMEMBER A COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE THE PROCEDURE,
WE WENT OUT TO DINNER, TO THAT LITTLE PUB
ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE? YEAH, YEAH, YOU WERE PRETTY UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
YOU MUST'VE HAD, WHAT, FIVE OR SIX PINTS,
COULDN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF ME. SHUT UP! JUST LISTEN.
THEY TOLD ME I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX
BEFORE THE PROCEDURE,
BUT I THOUGHT, IT'S JUST THE ONE TIME,
AND THE CHANCE OF ANYTHING HAPPENING... CHRISTINA...
COULD HE BE OUR SON?
(groans)
WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WELL...
I'VE GOT TO TALK TO WILHELMINA.
AND WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH.
GOOD MORNING! (Amanda) SHH!
(whispers) COME HERE, COME HERE, GET IN, GET IN!
(Amanda) THEY'RE HANDING OUT PINK SLIPS.
WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
(Marc, normal voice) OH, THIS IS LIKE A REALITY SHOW.
I HATE MYSELF FOR WATCHING, BUT I CAN'T LOOK AWAY.
(Amanda) OH, NOT SVEN, NOT SVEN! (gasps)
OH. WELL, I GUESS THAT'LL SAVE SOME AWKWARD CONVERSATION
BY THE COFFEE MACHINE. THIS IS CRAZY.
OH, MY GOD.
(heart beating)
SORRY... AMANDA.
AMANDA?
I'M FIRED?
THIS MUST BE SOME SORT OF MISTAKE.
I KNOW, RIGHT? I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND THEM GETTING RID
OF THE LUNCH INTERN AND THE CREEPY COPY GUY
AND ALL THOSE EDITORS, BUT...
I'M AMANDA TANEN-SOMMERS.
OH, MANDY, I'M SO SORRY.
BUT... I AM THE--THE FACE OF "MODE."
I AM "MODE"!
I'M THE FIRST PERSON THEY SEE WHEN THEY WALK IN.
WHO'S GONNA WELCOME THEM NOW AND TELL THEM WHERE TO SIGN IN?
BUT THEY NEED TO SEE SOMETHING PRETTY.
OH, GOD. IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, SWEETIE.
THIS ISN'T THE END OF THE WORLD.
SOMEONE'S GONNA HIRE YOU IN A SECOND.
REALLY? BECAUSE I CAN DO A JOB THAT A CLIPBOARD
AND A VASE OF FLOWERS CAN DO? OH, MANDY.
MARC, I DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE ELSE.
I BELONG AT "MODE." THIS IS MY HOME.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO? OH.
DANIEL, AMANDA WAS JUST FIRED.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
LOOK, BEFORE YOU PANIC, YOUR JOB IS SAFE.
YOU'RE TOO VALUABLE TO LET GO. UH, WELL, THANKS, BUT WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE WERE OPTIONS.
WELL, UNFORTUNATELY,
IT TURNED OUT THERE REALLY WAS ONLY ONE OPTION.
FIRE EVERYBODY? DO YOU THINK I LIKE FIRING PEOPLE?
I LIKE AMANDA, I LIKE JENNY IN ACCOUNTING.
IT WAS EITHER CUT THE PAYROLL OR FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY.
THEN NONE OF US WOULD HAVE JOBS. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
BETTY, WE SHUT DOWN FIVE MAGAZINES TODAY.
THAT'S HUNDREDS OF EMPLOYEES. I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
I'M SORRY.
I'M GETTING YOU THAT MEETING WITH HARTLEY. COME ON.
I DON'T HAVE AN EGG-VITATION. DANIEL, IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
HE'S LEAVING FOR A TRANS-SIBERIAN MOTORCYCLE RACE
RIGHT AFTER THE PARTY. YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT MATT?
HOW'S HE GONNA FEEL ABOUT YOU GOING BEHIND HIS BACK?
I HOPE HE UNDERSTANDS.
♪♪♪
(speaking inaudibly)
♪♪♪
(Hilda) OOH, FAH-BURGE. COME TO MAMA.
(groans) DAMN.
HERE.
(indistinct conversations)
HEY.
MATT, I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO-- YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY.
THANK YOU.
SO READY FOR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH?
YEP.
(chuckles)
HEY, GUYS, YOU WANT TO COME OVER AND MEET MY DAD?
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
YEAH? ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
DAD, UH, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET THE SUAREZ FAMILY.
UH, JUSTIN, HILDA...
IGNACIO, MY FATHER.
IT IS A PLEASURE.
MR. HARTLEY, SIR.
NO, PLEASE, CALL ME CAL. UH, JUSTIN, HILDA,
ARE WE TREATING YOU OKAY? OH, YEAH!
YEAH! HEY, LISTEN, YOU WANNA GIVE ME A HINT
ON WHERE THE FAH-BURGE EGG IS? MOM!
I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE FAIR TO MY OTHER GUESTS.
AND THIS MUST BE THE YOUNG LADY THAT I'VE BEEN WAITING TO MEET.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, MR. HARTLEY.
I HEARD YOU MADE QUITE AN IMPRESSION ON MATT'S MOTHER.
I THINK THE WORDS SHE USED WERE,
"OVER MY DEAD, ROTTING CORPSE." DAD...
WELL, THE THING IS, I DON'T REALLY--
ANYONE WHO CAN GET UNDER MY EX-WIFE'S SKIN LIKE THAT
IS OKAY IN MY BOOK. (laughs) (chuckles)
NOW I WOULD LOVE TO SPEND THE WHOLE AFTERNOON
JUST WITH YOU,
BUT I HAVE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY OTHER GUESTS,
SO PLEASE, EVERYBODY, HAVE A GOOD TIME,
AND I'LL JUST--I'LL-- I'LL SEE YOU LATER. BYE-BYE.
CIAO. WOW, I NEVER SHOOK A HAND
THAT'S BEEN IN OUTER SPACE BEFORE. SEE? PIECE OF CAKE.
YEAH. MM.
(cell phone rings) OH!
WORK STUFF THAT I JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH REAL QUICK.
BUT I'LL BE BACK. (Ignacio) OKAY.
(Hilda) OKAY.
DANIEL!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? THERE'S SECURITY EVERYWHERE.
AND PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO LOOK AT ME WEIRD. BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A WAITER,
BUT YOU'RE STANDING AROUND EATING COOKIES
IN A $10,000 PRADA SUIT. THIS IS FROM 2 YEARS AGO!
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I MET MR. HARTLEY. WHAT'S HE LIKE?
HE'S... INTERESTING, BUT NICE.
AND I THINK HE'LL BE OPEN TO YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU READY? I THINK SO.
OKAY, MAYBE LEAVE THE COOKIE.
(Wilhelmina) YOU HAD SEX?
DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU THAT WE HAD A SIGNED CONTRACT?
WHAT, YOU'RE GOING TO SUE ME FOR HAVING SEX?
I GAVE YOU A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY,
MONEY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP SAVE YOUR DYING HUSBAND.
AT LEAST PART OF HIM WAS ALIVE AND KICKING. OH, DON'T GET ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY WITH ME.
YOU RAMMED THAT CONTRACT RIGHT DOWN MY THROAT. AND YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE GETTING YOURSELF INTO.
AND YOU KNEW THAT I COULDN'T SAY NO!
GOD, THE CONTRACT WAS BARELY DRY
BEFORE I WAS LYING ON MY BACK WITH MY LEGS IN THE AIR,
SOMEONE WAVING A TURKEY BASTER AT ME! HMM. LOVELY.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO NOW.
BECAUSE THERE IS A CHANCE THAT THAT BABY IS MINE.
AN INFINITESIMAL CHANCE.
IT'S STILL A CHANCE.
I NEED TO KNOW WHOSE BABY THAT IS.
AND SO DO YOU.
YES, I DO.
(sighs)
WE'LL GET A BLOOD TEST.
THEN WE'LL KNOW.
RIGHT.
(Betty) THERE HE IS. LET'S GO.
OKAY.
OH!
(whispers) SORRY.
EXCUSE ME, SIR. MAY I SEE YOUR CREDENTIALS?
WHA--OH, YEAH, OF COURSE. HEY. (normal voice) HI.
UH, JUST A SECOND. UH, I...
SORRY, I HAD 'EM A SECOND AGO. YOU KNOW WHAT? HE'S WITH ME, SO IT'S OKAY.
HE NEEDS HIS OWN INVITATION, MA'AM.
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. I WANT BOTH OF YOUR NAMES RIGHT NOW.
DO YOU HAVE A PEN?
OH, OH, OH, OKAY, MISTAKE, SORRY!
OW! OW! OW! OKAY. PLEASE JUST LET HIM GO.
I CAN EXPLAIN. OW! OW! OW! COME ON.
LISTEN, LISTEN... HE CAN CLEAR THIS UP.
OW! OW!
I KNOW YOU'RE MAD. YOU LIED TO ME.
MATT, AMANDA GOT FIRED TODAY, ALONG WITH ABOUT HALF OF MEADE,
AND I COULDN'T JUST COME HERE
AND DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND HUNT FOR EASTER EGGS
AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING WAS HAPPENING.
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? YOU COULD'VE COME TO ME.
WOULD YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR MIND?
IS THIS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT?
MATT, YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME,
BUT IF GIVING DANIEL FIVE MINUTES WITH YOUR DAD
IS GONNA HELP HIM SAVE MEADE, THEN, YES, IT'S WHAT I WANT.
HEY, HEY, HEY. IT'S OKAY.
HE'S WITH ME.
DAD, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO BETTY'S BOSS, DANIEL MEADE.
IT'S AN INCREDIBLE HONOR, SIR.
MEADE, HUH?
DON'T RECALL SEEING YOUR NAME ON THE GUEST LIST.
UH, UH, IT'S A FU-- UH, FUNNY STORY.
ACTUALLY, UM...
COME ON, I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU.
LET'S HAVE A DRINK. GREAT, GREAT.
(laughs) GREAT.
MATT, THANK YOU.
(indistinct conversations)
(Daniel) I KNOW YOU'VE SHOWN AN INTEREST IN MEDIA STOCKS.
OF COURSE, I READ YOUR AMAZING INTERVIEW
IN THE "DUBAYY FINANCIAL TIMES."
ANYWAY, UM, MEADE PUBLICATIONS
IS POISED TO REBOUND IN A BIG WAY.
(indistinct conversations)
(children laughing)
MR. HARTLEY?
CAL.
EVERYTHING... ALL RIGHT?
I RAISE A LOT OF MONEY AT THIS SHINDIG EVERY YEAR
FOR A LOT OF TERRIFIC CAUSES.
BUT WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT MOST IS THE KIDS, YOU KNOW?
ABSOLUTELY.
THE SIMPLE JOY ON A CHILD'S FACE.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S REALLY ABOUT.
(Daniel) I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE.
ANYWAY, ALL MEADE NEEDS IS A SHORT-TERM INFUSION
OF OPERATING CAP-- IT'S SUCH A SHAME FLOPPY COULDN'T MAKE IT.
(chuckles) FLOPPY?
YEAH, FLOPPY THE BUNNY.
HE'S THE GUY WE HIRED TO PUT ON THE BIG PINK BUNNY SUIT
AND HAND OUT EGGS.
JUST TOTALLY FLAKED ON US.
THAT IS A SHAME. UH...
AS I WAS SAYING,
A SHORT-TERM INFUSION OF CAPITAL WOULD REALLY--
WE GOT THE SUIT AND EVERYTHING.
WE JUST NEED SOMEONE TO PUT IT ON, HOP AROUND,
WIGGLE HIS NOSE.
THAT'D SURE MAKE THIS DAY A SUCCESS, DON'T YOU THINK?
MAKE THOSE KIDS SMILE?
AND SEEING THOSE KIDS' SMILING FACES
WOULD SURE PUT ME IN THE MOOD TO TALK BUSINESS.
(sighs)
(Hilda) I GOT IT!
I GOT THE EGG! (laughs) (laughs)
(man) CONGRATULATIONS.
NOW WHY DON'T YOU STEP UP HERE, YOUNG LADY? OKAY.
OH, EXCUSE ME, KIDS. EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE...
OH, HERE WE GO. NOW SINCE YOU FOUND THE FABERGé EGG,
VALUED AT MORE THAN HALF A MILLION DOLLARS...
OH, MY GOD! (cheering)
(laughs) IT WILL NOW BE AUCTIONED OFF
AND THE PROCEEDS DONATED TO NEW YORK CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL
IN YOUR NAME. WHOO!
(applause) BUT I-I FOUND IT. I FOUND THE EGG, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART. THIS ISN'T FAIR!
TIME TO GO. (chuckles) ISN'T SHE WONDERFUL?
OH. I FOUND THE EGG.
(indistinct conversations)
ARE WE FINISHED? DO YOU HATE ME, MATT?
BECAUSE I HATE ME RIGHT NOW AND...
NO. NO, NO, I COULD NEVER HATE YOU.
NEVER.
AND YOU WERE RIGHT. PEOPLE'S JOBS ARE AT STAKE.
I MEAN, YOUR FRIENDS ARE GETTING FIRED
BECAUSE I HAVE SOME CRAZY, RICH-BOY DADDY ISSUES?
THAT'S MESSED UP. NO, MATT, I STILL SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE BEHIND YOUR BACK.
TRUE, YOU OWE ME FOR THAT ONE.
I MAY HAVE TO CANCEL SUBMARINE THURSDAYS. (chuckles)
BETTY, I JUST HOPE YOU DON'T REGRET HOOKING DANIEL UP
WITH MY FATHER. WHY WOULD I?
MY DAD CAN BE A GREAT GUY,
BUT YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO INTO BUSINESS WITH HIM.
HE NEEDS TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. I--I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE
TRYING TO KEEP HIM AS FAR AWAY FROM MY CAREER AS POSSIBLE.
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT HIM INVESTING IN MEADE,
WORKING IN PUBLISHING.
I MEAN, I'D FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WAS MINE.
BUT, MATT, YOU DON'T EVEN WORK AT MEADE.
BUT YOU DO.
BETTY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS COULD LEAD.
OH, COME ON, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD.
(girl) IT'S FLOPPY!
(children) FLOPPY! FLOPPY! FLOPPY! FLOPPY!
(children shouting indistinctly)
HI, FLOPPY! HI, FLOPPY!
(child) FLOPPY!
IS THAT DANIEL?
(child) I WANT AN EGG!
(children) FLOPPY! FLOPPY! FLOPPY!
(guests speaking indistinctly)
AS A BUNNY?
(sighs) YOU THOUGHT MY MOM WAS THE TOUGH ONE?
MY MOM IS LIKE AN EASTER EGG--
HARD ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT SOFT AND GOOEY ON THE INSIDE.
DAD'S MORE LIKE...
SATAN.
(children shouting indistinctly)
NO, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! (children screaming)
(laughter)
(guests speaking indistinctly)
(laughter continues)
DANIEL, I'M SO SORRY.
I HAD NO IDEA THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
IT'S OKAY.
NO, IT'S NOT OKAY.
MATT TRIED TO WARN ME, AND I WOULDN'T LISTEN,
AND HIS FATHER HUMILIATED YOU.
BETTY... WE DID IT.
WHAT?
I JUST SPENT TEN MINUTES WITH HARTLEY,
RUNNING THE NUMBERS.
(clears throat) HE'S IN.
HE'S ACTUALLY DELAYING HIS TRIP TO SIBERIA
SO WE CAN MAKE A FULL PROPOSAL.
HE SAID HE LOOKS FORWARD TO
BEING IN THE PUBLISHING BUSINESS.
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AMAZING!
(chuckles)
WHA--BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THIS?
IT'S JUST TO PROVE WHAT A BIG MAN HE IS.
SO YOU KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING? YEAH, OF COURSE I DID.
I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH EGO-DRIVEN BASTARDS LIKE HIM
MY WHOLE LIFE.
YOU KNOW, I'VE MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF ENOUGH TIMES
FOR NO REASON.
I CAN DO IT ONCE TO SAVE OUR COMPANY.
DANIEL, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
WHAT'S THAT?
UH, IT'S JUST MY COTTONTAIL.
I WAS USING IT TO STOP THE BLEEDING.
OOH.
THOSE KIDS WERE VICIOUS, HUH?
(Wilhelmina) HERE THEY ARE-- THE LAB RESULTS.
YOU HAVEN'T OPENED IT? NO, I, UH...
I DIDN'T HAVE THE NERVE. YOU--YOU OPEN IT.
(sighs)
IT'S YOURS.
THE BABY'S YOURS.
OH...
THANK GOD.
I WAS JUS-- I WAS SO SURE.
WELL...
NOW THAT THAT IS SETTLED,
I WILL BE MAKING OTHER ARRANGEMENTS FOR WILLIAM'S CARE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I WILL NO LONGER BE NEEDING YOUR SERVICES AS NANNY.
GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, I THINK IT'S BEST
THAT YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY CHILD...
PERMANENTLY.
(whimpers)
(Earlimart's "Before It Gets Better" playing)
♪ THERE'S A LIGHT ♪
(elevator bell dings)
♪ THAT JUST WON'T GO OUT ♪
♪ NO MATTER WHAT THEY TRY TO DO ♪
MORNING.
♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T PULL OUT THE CIRCUITS ♪
♪ REMOVE THE BULB ♪
MESSAGES.
♪ AND IT JUST MIGHT BE THE BRIGHTEST STAR ♪
♪ DISCOVERED YET BY MAN ♪
♪ BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE A PINHOLE ♪
♪ FROM WHERE WE STAND ♪
♪♪♪
♪ SO DON'T FEEL BAD ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK SO SAD ♪
♪ WE'RE MUCH MORE THAN THAT ♪
♪ BUT FOR NOW IT'S A DEATH TRAP ♪
A CARROT BASKET.
♪ IT'S A DEATH TRAP ♪
AT LEAST HARTLEY HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR.
(chuckles)
♪ IT'S A DEATH TRAP ♪
♪ IT'S A BLOODBATH ♪
♪ AND IT'S GONNA GET WORSE ♪
♪ OH, OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ DUH, DUH, DUH, DUH, DUH, DUH ♪
♪ AND IT'S GONNA GET WORSE ♪